I've Moved

I've started a new blog with some recent posts and it's at hanna-manna.blogspot.com. I won't be blogging anymore at The Flying Nun. We've had some good times but it's time for something new. See you over there!

Surprise friday

picture by StevenM_61's

I forgot how fun it is to do something unexpected and say "yes" to an idea. After searching fruitlessly for the right cafe in Newport Beach, I sat in traffic to hit up some favorite spots in Long Beach. I ate a bean taco, potato taco, and fish taco at Hole Mole. I sat outside and licked my fingers and spooned salsa into my mouth and watched people wash their cars across the street. Then I decided, hey, why not? and drove my car over after my meal to run around before the timer timed out, foam bursting out of my brush and hitting my face and shoulders. It was wet and fun and sweaty. Now I'm drinking a ginger peach iced tea at Portfolio, an artsy air conditioned spot in the Arts District. Life feels good. And that all happened for less than $10.

Book Review: A Year in Van Nuys

Every week, I meet with my new friend Joleen for a cup of coffee (sometimes a sample cup of Trader Joe's coffee) to discuss the all important questions of life direction, job search status, and ideas. We've been meeting for about 2 months and I have to say, we've hit our stride.

Yesterday, she suggested that I write a book about my life living in the OC and she gave enough compelling reasons that I decided to give it some serious thought and read this other book I had seen in the bookstore for ideas: A Year in Van Nuys by Sandra Tsing Loh.

I've come to admire Sandra's writing recently for its wit and humor and ability to make me laugh a lot. J. checked out A Year in Van Nuys from the library for me and I finished it in two sittings. And here is what I have to say about this book (published in 2001).

• It's really really really funny. I laughed a lot, especially in the beginning.
• I was surprised at how much I related to her experiences. (Do L.A. freelance writers really have that much in common?)
• She is so self-deprecating and revealing! How does she still have friends?
• The ending does totally peter out and only worth skimming as many Amazon.com reviewers write.
• It is a writer's writer kind of book. It's all about her writing life and how much it sucked that year.
• It almost made me want to quit all this freelance business and study for the LSATs and be happy having stable income.
• Most importantly, it was a case study on exactly what not to do if you want to be sane and happy and be a writer.

Here's what her painful stories reinforced:

1. Get a life and get out or you will end up stuck in your bedroom for 3 years with writer's block and loathing self-pity.
2. Read the Ennegram, Type 4. Learn how to deal with envy or it will destroy you.
3. Have a regular practice of taking yourself lightly, forgiving yourself, and working on loving others.
4. Have a regular practice of centering, whether that be prayer, photography, or something else.
5. Do anything constructive to regularly get out of your head and your own thoughts.
6. Be a contemplative.
7. Be kind and serve others.
8. Live fully in the moment.
9. Do Welcoming Prayer a lot.
10. And the list could keep going on.

I wouldn't use her book as a model for a book on living in the OC but overall, a quick enjoyable read. Some parts--her agony, her self-loathing, her moans--were a bit too negative and not funny enough to bear but all the other stuff, the parts when she really is spot on, hilarious, and you actually realize this is all useful info to help you avoid the same mistakes--well, that's nice.

For the complete opposite of Sandra Tsing Loh, check out The Happiness Project. This woman has a law degree and is writing a book about being happy.

Summer in the OC

God is blue by Sister Corita

This summer has been the summer of ideas. Left and right, up and down, ideas are churning and brimming up--I can barely think or talk fast enough. I was talking to my friend Lydia yesterday and after 4 ideas in a row she said, "Ok, whoa whoa whoa, wait, just give me a minute, let me think about this. Okay--which one can you see yourself doing more--Writing a book or blogging short posts?" Thank goodness for lovely friends who take my ideas seriously and then actually have practical questions to get me to think of how to do them.

I'm going to apply for this 9 month Ignatian prayer program.

I'm screenprinting with my artist friend Jan next week at her parent's screenprinting studio. We're going to make summer lino prints! We're inspired by Sister Corita Kent's works.

I'm going to get the darkest tan of my life by just laying out on the grass next to my building (a surprising number of people do this) or walking to the pool and getting fried in half the time. The sun here is hot, the wind is cool, and all of the above is plentiful.

And I'm going to read a lot. Case in point, next post.

New finds

Here are some new finds that I've been loving

Yellow Owl Workshop
I am especially in love with the city rubber stamps set


Blogger: Color Me Katie
a freelance photographer, street artist, all around creativity source
Via The Happiness Project


The Uniform Project
Makes me want to get a whole lot of accessories and one uniform

Cory Doctorow: Writing in the Age of Distraction
A good article about writing when the internet is soo distracting

On Blogging

These days, I feel as if I have outgrown my Flying Nun theme. I've been making little changes to my blog, having fun with my newfound html and free online tutorial lookup intelligence. But something's in the air. J. thinks it's because I'm no longer single, i.e. no longer a possible candidate for nunship. Maybe that is true. I think it's something else though.

When I first started blogging, the Flying Nun emblem gave me a sense of security, a metaphor to hide behind and safely write. I feel ready to expand my wings and actually let my head poke out and feel the wind now. In other words, I feel ready to gear my blogging towards a more public audience, instead of just family and friends (scratch that, i don't think any of my family members read this) and stand behind my name.

I think that working on launching my freelance writing career has a lot do with this, as well as a better understanding of the blogging world and the ways in which it can work for you (I like this summary at typepad).

I've been studying blogs to see what appeals to a larger readership (namely, nice photos) and I've also been brainstorming daily on what I would change and topics I would focus on. If you've been following my posts and you have ideas or suggestions, I would be happy to read them.

Kitchen Finds: Fine Mesh Strainer

Ever since I discovered quinoa and learned that you must rinse it to get a soapy chemical off of it (saponin), I've been rinsing it by just filling up a bowl of it with water and then holding a plate against the bowl and tipping the water out of it slowly until the water has been drained. aka Tedious.

So I've been on the lookout for a fine mesh strainer and I thought I found it when I saw this Oxo Good Grips 8-Inch Double Rod Strainer. But at $21.99, it was worth waiting for a better deal. I waited and waited and in the meantime checked every Chinese supermarket and Korean household store I went to for a similar item. The ones I found had flimsy mesh or weren't big enough but yesterday, finally--VICTORY!

At HMart in Irvine, I found a solid 8-inch double rod strainer with two prongs on the end, not just one, which provides better balance when resting it across the sink (which it does perfectly). The 8" size is perfect for rinsing handfuls of fruit and veggies. The mesh is small enough to rinse quinoa and it has a solid dome shape that has no signs of warping or stretching. Best of all, it is only $5.99! I'm not sure who else carries it but it's worth checking your local Korean supermarket. The strainer has a "Dong-Tai" imprint on it.

Good Words: The Catholic Imagination

"Religion is story before it is anything else and after it is everything else." - Andrew Greely

how to be good to my self

I developed a serious case of envy today and had to do this exercise so I could focus on using my energy to move forward and not down.

develop a healthy lean body that feels limber, active, energetic

eat food that makes me feel good physically

wear stylish clothes that make me happy and embrace my inner designer

take risks for my dreams

go for what i want and find ways to make money along the way, not the other way around

continue to ask myself "how can i be good to my self?"

Daily Video: Touch My Body

Just because it makes people say "Oh my gaaa!"

The OC: Officially gotten good

I think it's safe to say that Jacob and I have officially gotten good at hanging out with each other in the OC.

The first few months of marriage were spent at our laptops looking around, saying, "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know, what do you want to do?"
"I don't know, there's nothing to do in the OC."
"Dammit. I miss LA!"
"I know, me too."
"Sad."
"Yeah, sad."

It all started with the 4th of July when noone wanted to hang out with us. Noone wanted to grill with us or see us in our bikini and speedo and go to the beach and prance around. Why, I wonder? Noone wanted to buy fireworks and light them up. Noone.

4th of July is a sad holiday to be alone.

We decided to make the best of it. We were determined to have fun on our first 4th of July as a married couple. So the first thing we did was get into the biggest fight we have had since tying the knot, complete with waving hands, the D word, rolling eyes, stomping off, getting space and canceling the whole thing.

Then we decided to be friends again and went to the beach. It was way too windy and cold and sandy, something Jacob realized as soon as he jumped into the ocean and ran out with a grin of alarming proportions. Yeah, all those other people in there, hon? Those are the crazies with insanely warm blood. If you were a southern california native, you'd know that.

We laid out on our towels shivering, getting sand in our Vernor's ginger ale and eating sandy Sweet Maui chips and unsuccessfully moving the umbrella in 12 different positions to thwart the wind. An hour and a half later, we decided to call it quits. I was wearing my navy blue swimsuit under an army green jersey spaghetti strap dress and the only thing Jacob had to offer me was this boxy white t-shirt with Chinese calligraphy and a dancing horse on the front. Important note: he took it from his Kansan grandmother's closet. The t-shirt collar came up my neck, the shoulders kept going when mine stopped, and it stopped short at my natural waist. The whole thing looked wrong.

Jacob on the other hand was wearing silky brown fisherman pants from Thailand and a retro button up light blue shirt with thick rimmed glasses. Earlier when we passed a Hare Krishna dude rattling a tambourine on the street corner, we both looked at each other and realized, umm, you look like a hare krishna dude, dude.

We went to the car and ate the rest of our snacks in the front seats. Then we rolled down the coast through the interconnected parking lots until we had to exit. We were quite proud that we had figured out how to cruise through all the state beach parking lots and find a bathroom with no line.

We proceeded to buy fireworks at a booth in the parking lot of Norm's. I detest Norm's because I have this very vivid memory of my brother's friend Chucky cutting into a steak late at night only to reveal fluorescent orange flesh. I kid you not. Well, Jacob luurves Norm's with a passion so we sat down for a piece of pie and coffee. And this is where my freak flag came out.

Ladies and gents, I lost it in the best way possible. I knew I looked like an idiot with a chinese grandma t-shirt, I had sand in my hair, we had at least 6 more hours to go of 4th of July celebration, and I was sitting with my hare krishna look alike partner in Norm's. I started tooling around. I began to sing, talk in strange voices, make up stories, and engage in inappropriate straw shenanigans. And at that moment, I realized I had come across something big, something crucial to the success of my mental sanity and emotional happiness here in the OC. It was the power to create fun when there's nothing to do--something I have long admired my friend Allie for being able to do but just thought she was like that because she grew up in Arkansas. I guess the OC is now my Arkansas.

The night proceeded. We stopped by the 99cents store across the street and bought a box of Tony Chachere's gumbo mix, El Pato hot sauce, and a book called Saints and Animals. We ran around our housing complex, we cut through the communal gardens and ran up the hill for a panoramic view of all the fireworks in the OC. Then we ran back down and cut through the communal garden only to have to pee really bad and well, I won't say any more about what happened to the arugula. Then we lit our fireworks, danced around, gave each other high fives, saw some leftover cheeseburgers in the trash and drove to In-N-Out for our 4th of July burger. We fell asleep utterly satisfied with our 4th of July.

So that's the secret folks... or is it still convoluted? The secret to the OC (sidenote: especially if you don't have money and can't shop) is treating it like the plains, the midwest, the upper peninsula, arkansas, any rural area if you will. You have to unhinge, fly the freak flag, and learn to be your own best friend, stand up comedian, dance partner, storyteller, and mischevious partner in crime. You've got to learn the art of tooling around.

As Allie's mother once said, "You're only bored, if you're boring."
Learn to not be boring and you will never be bored again.

Blog change update

Soooo, I really wanted to unveil a new blog but it looks like I'm sticking with this one for the short term. I've learned basic html and css which has gotten me as far as changing fonts and sizes and colors in someone else's style sheet. Lame. I guess 3 days of cramming could only get me so far. I will keep cramming and hopefully unveil a new blog soon.

A night of dreams

Last night I had a dream so vivid that I thought it was real life. Now, I'm a dreamer and almost 100% of the time, I know I'm dreaming. But this time, I actually thought it was happening.

I am told from somebody (i don't know who) that I need to get on a plane, follow a dirt path, end up in a forest and wait. I must have trust this voice because I follow the directions. It is dark, the middle of the night. I get on a plane, fly over an ocean, get off and walk down a dirt road. Unlit homes line the road and I'm holding the hand of a little girl. At the same time, I think, what a scary and dangerous walk for a little girl--I'm glad I'm here to hold her hand. There is noone in sight, no street lamps, only shadows.

We walk, then make a turn, and keep going until the forest closes in on me and I can't keep going. I can only fall back and sit down on soft fern covered ground. I hold the little girl in my arms and wait in the darkness. Out of the fauna, shadowy faces emerge, people that I've known throughout my life. People that make me happy, that make me feel conflicted and upset--all sorts of people. (It's still dark, it's always dark and shadowy for some reason)

The funny thing is, I'm not threatened by the ones that normally make me feel upset. I feel a balance, a kind of peace, like I canaccept everyone. I don't feel bothered. I feel peace. I've entered some kind of "other" world, like summer camp, midst trees and mountains. I feel like I have finally arrived at my destination. I'm so glad that I'm here.

An acquaintance turns and looks me in the eyes saying, "You didn't just end up here, Hanna. You got here by listening and getting on the plane, and walking down the road even when you didn't even know why you were doing it. "

Just then, I'm abruptly awoken by violently flapping vertical blinds in my room. I get up and close the window and realize I'm not in some foresty summer camp place with people that say deep elusive things to me. I'm in Irvine and my alarm clock buzzes 5:30am.

I lay in bed for quite some time, actually wanting to get back to that dream, the place that felt more real than real life. "You didn't just end up here" keeps ringing in my head and I realize with a start that that little girl was my inner child.

I know, WILD--as far as psychoanalytical type dreams go. I haven't had a dream that feigned to have such a cohesive message from the nether worlds AND involved my inner child in...I don't know when.

I think most dreams are just the subconscious working itself out or revealing itself like a flasher when you least expect it. But I have to say, I woke up this morning with a significant kind of peace and had the most productive day I've had in a while. I thank my mind and my body for working things out for me in an unexpectedly deep and internal way through the middle of the night. I actually needed to hear that last line and it's a good message for the journey.

Happy Tuesday everyone.