A night of dreams

Last night I had a dream so vivid that I thought it was real life. Now, I'm a dreamer and almost 100% of the time, I know I'm dreaming. But this time, I actually thought it was happening.

I am told from somebody (i don't know who) that I need to get on a plane, follow a dirt path, end up in a forest and wait. I must have trust this voice because I follow the directions. It is dark, the middle of the night. I get on a plane, fly over an ocean, get off and walk down a dirt road. Unlit homes line the road and I'm holding the hand of a little girl. At the same time, I think, what a scary and dangerous walk for a little girl--I'm glad I'm here to hold her hand. There is noone in sight, no street lamps, only shadows.

We walk, then make a turn, and keep going until the forest closes in on me and I can't keep going. I can only fall back and sit down on soft fern covered ground. I hold the little girl in my arms and wait in the darkness. Out of the fauna, shadowy faces emerge, people that I've known throughout my life. People that make me happy, that make me feel conflicted and upset--all sorts of people. (It's still dark, it's always dark and shadowy for some reason)

The funny thing is, I'm not threatened by the ones that normally make me feel upset. I feel a balance, a kind of peace, like I canaccept everyone. I don't feel bothered. I feel peace. I've entered some kind of "other" world, like summer camp, midst trees and mountains. I feel like I have finally arrived at my destination. I'm so glad that I'm here.

An acquaintance turns and looks me in the eyes saying, "You didn't just end up here, Hanna. You got here by listening and getting on the plane, and walking down the road even when you didn't even know why you were doing it. "

Just then, I'm abruptly awoken by violently flapping vertical blinds in my room. I get up and close the window and realize I'm not in some foresty summer camp place with people that say deep elusive things to me. I'm in Irvine and my alarm clock buzzes 5:30am.

I lay in bed for quite some time, actually wanting to get back to that dream, the place that felt more real than real life. "You didn't just end up here" keeps ringing in my head and I realize with a start that that little girl was my inner child.

I know, WILD--as far as psychoanalytical type dreams go. I haven't had a dream that feigned to have such a cohesive message from the nether worlds AND involved my inner child in...I don't know when.

I think most dreams are just the subconscious working itself out or revealing itself like a flasher when you least expect it. But I have to say, I woke up this morning with a significant kind of peace and had the most productive day I've had in a while. I thank my mind and my body for working things out for me in an unexpectedly deep and internal way through the middle of the night. I actually needed to hear that last line and it's a good message for the journey.

Happy Tuesday everyone.