traveling and more

tonight rosa and i went to borders to look at travel books and make some decisions for this summer.

thailand, definitely. perhaps vietnam, laos, and cambodia. at the end, a visit to singapore to see theresa and carl.

jen a. is going to guatemala in august and then to mexico city for a few months. perhaps i should go to asia, then france, and then south america and finish off with some spanish language classes to add to the lingual stew.

korean is still on my list of languages to learn and be fluent in. but the thought of going to korea makes my upper lip twitch right. mother countries can be so complex in their expectations of you.

another moment of appreciating rosa today (thank you God for a post breakup friend. you knew how much i needed it). everytime i had an emotional outburst that had something to do with "but what about..." "but i can't..." "but i don't think we'll ever..." She looked at me calmly, took it in, and then firmly said something perfect and logistical and rational. I let her look me in the eye with that steely gaze and I nodded. Yes, of course. There is always a way. Yes, of course, I can email that professor. Yes, I can still plan on applying to grad school. Yes, I am not lame. Yes, of course, I should not send that angry mean letter to J. that I sealed and stamped today and then felt immediately grieved after. The one where the second to last paragraph started with "You have a problem."

she said another very important thing. she said, isn't there someone in your life who when you're feeling overwhelmed can sit you down and say, here, i see this when you can't, this is what you can do, step by step? UM, NO?? Does everyone have this kind of friend? I thought about it. I can't think of anyone. Maybe that is why I cannot get myself out of my freaked out situations. Does anyone know someone like that? A lot of my local friends are seriously the kind who listen to you freak out, and then get freaked out that you are freaking out, and give you a look that says, oh dear, or pray, or i don't know either.

well, rosa. you're the first. for now. please be the cousin fozzy in my life.

things to do this week:
send dr. davis a belated thank you card with edwards tickets
send leslie and young lee thank you cards with gift certificates
email frank yamata, evelyn, lydia, any others about div schools
email dr. martindale about any journalism students he is in contact with