Resigning from my job

Today, I hand in my notice. I told my boss a few weeks ago that I would resign. But since then, I have reconsidered my resignation over and over again. She said I could take a leave of absence. My travel plans changed. I decided to stay and only travel for a month. And anxiety struck my heart. Should I come back and work here again? The economy is awful. I probably won't find another job. People are going hungry right now.

The last week, I tried every day to come up with a proposal for a job I would like here. Part time, contract, full time, job title changes, the works. I tried to make it work for me.

Maybe this will change. Maybe this isn't faith. But last night when I took a moment to read from my Taize book, Brother Rogere, I was convicted. He said (roughly), "Are you afraid of making a decision for fear of making a mistake? Why summon up your darkness when you can walk in faith?"

I sat and asked myself, what does it look like to walk in faith? And the answer came swiftly and clearly through the darkness of my room. Resign. Walk in faith. Resign.

Today, I will hand in my notice. I will walk in faith. I am scared of being jobless in the fall. But when fear is lifted, there is faith, not darkness.