L.A. Mill Coffee & Fun Times

L.A. Mill Coffee

Last night, I lay on my bed, staring around at my room, listening to the loud echos of kids playing in the apartment courtyard. I lay in my bed so long that I missed my yoga class. I started reading my Beyond Codependency book because it usually helps me get motivated to take care of myself instead of laying around mopey.

I did some suggested activities, like reflecting on what you feel like you don't deserve (i.e. a happy life, fun, loving relationships) and then turning them around to make them into "I deserve" statements. I know this goes against everything fundamentalists and IV people teach. And you know what, fuck them. eehee. I just wanted to try saying that. It's so powerful and vulgar. But when my friends say it to me, it always makes me feel better. Like when M. said, "Fuck everyone" after I stressed out about other people's breakup advice. She's so deliciously wicked like that. You need someone in your life who will tell you that sometimes.

Ok, I digress. So, I wrote a lot on what I deserve. And it was empowering. It helps rewire all the negative sabotage thinking in your head about how you should be unhappy, or how you don't deserve to be in a good relationship, or how you're not really fit for some of those super jobs you want. I thought a lot about the "fun" piece and my response was surprising. A lot of times, I think that having fun isn't spiritual enough or kind of lame, or really, I'm afraid to look like an ass trying new things. So I did some rewiring in my brain and wrote about how I deserve fun.

At that moment, I realized that if I don't do something, I will have gone through the entire day not talking to anyone I cared about or who cared about me which equals depressed Hanna. I talked a little with coworkers but I came home to an empty apartment, laid around, and would go to bed to go to work again unless I moved fast. S. Ling happened to be online, and I asked her if she wanted a spontaneous coffee get together. She said, Yes. WOOHOO!!!

We went to L.A. Mill Coffee, an uber chic Silverlake place that was reviewed to high acclaim in the LA Times recently. I had the Creative Burst tea, and she had the Pink Parachute. We sat talking late under the gold chandelier, enjoying the red and teal decor and the plush swivel chairs. I had so much FUN!!! I drove all the way home thanking God and feeling energized to get through another work day in San Dimas.

I'm learning peeps. I'm learning how to make myself happy.