Mission Statements

A month ago, I was getting that ole feeling of hyperventilation/anxiety about feeling like my life was worthless because a) I was unemployed b) I didn't know what I wanted to do c) I wasn't making any money.

It's truly a miracle that someone like me has continued to quit her jobs before she has gotten another one. Each time, I cry, I freak out, but in the end, feel like that is what I need to do, regardless of how uncertain the time will be before I find a new job. I'm glad too for the courage to quit because I've always ended up doing things I never thought I would that helped me get to the next thing in life.

I decided to pray and remember what I had learned in Asia and this past summer. Nothing good comes out of worrying. And I do know what I want to do and the next step I need to take. I just need to listen to my self.

Somehow in the midst of my praying, I came up with a brilliant plan that seemed like it was straight from God herself. I wanted to do freelance writing and write novels. How could I support myself? By becoming a community college teacher of course! That way, I wouldn't have to be pressured to publish but could teach (which I love) and have flexibility as an adjunct professor.

I started looking at M.A. in English programs in earnest.

Well, this week, I finally had a chat with a wonderful woman at a local community college that my friend Lyds had connected me to. She has her Ph.D. in English as well as a Masters in TESL and is a fabulous human being. Down to earth, laid back, generous, funny, sincere, intelligent, sharp. She helped me figure out what I needed to talk to her about and I walked away feeling so encouraged. I got a very good idea of what it is like to be a community college teacher and how to get there. The next day, she even contacted me and helped me connect with the chair of the English Department for a more in depth conversation on hiring practices and advice for applying to grad school programs.

The more time lapsed from that meeting, the more I realized that something was off. The conversation had been great and informative. But it had also made me see the realistic side to that career. The fact was that she was a busy person. She felt like she finally had time to enjoy life other than work. And she warned me that although there is no pressure to publish academic papers, I will have tons of grading to do. Grading of bad writing no less.

My perfect plan started to disintegrate FAST. I realized that perhaps this wasn't the best way to tend to what I really wanted to do--freelance journalism and writing.

Which brings me to the main point of this post. I am such a planner. My family really drilled that into me. That I need a predictable career plan that I keep going on and then reach with wild success and acclaim. But planning NEVER works. Project planning is good. Life planning? It makes you inflexible, closed off to opportunities and spontaneity, shut off from the depths of your mysterious soul.

To keep me from always going into default planning mode, I decided to create a mission statement so that whatever I do, it comes from a deep unshakable conviction of what I feel called to in life. Instead of planning to get to that mission statement, I'm going live out the mission statement and be open to where it takes me. I think I'm going to have a lot more fun and do things I never thought I would.

As simple as it could be, my mission statement:
I am called to tell stories.