mon oncle

i saw my uncle briefly this morning after my mom harassed me into coming home last night and changing my plans to see him before he took off for the airport. i went to bed last night without seeing him because he came home late. and today, when he got into the minivan to be driven to the airport, i finally got to say hi. bye. i also said goodbye to my dear halmuni.

it's always a barrel of laughs, a hectic unpredictable time, when the kangs get together. they do a lot of yelling, saying of unfounded threats, and laughing at each other's absurd antics.

when i saw my uncle in the minivan, i kept myself from gasping. he was slight. he's always been a big man, thick, overweight? and today, he was very very thin, the skin around his elbows sagging in rings, his face almost unrecognizable. there he was, the uncle who picked me up from elementary school, the uncle whose fancy wedding i had been a flower girl at in korea, the uncle who had been the player, the uncle who inherited his father-in-law's shipping fortune and lost it, the uncle who now barely makes rent running an Afro-American beauty shop in Memphis, Tennessee, the uncle who wants to move back to LA. mon oncle etique.

hello samchun. i can tell you have suffered a lot. your purity shines through your loose skin. the sharpness is gone from your eyes. the laughter has softened into seeing. you smile and there are gaps in your teeth. i can feel your kindess. i can feel your suffering. you have been through a lot. so this is life.