in the hollow

today, this day, i tried to be present at work

my heart was breaking but i could only see

my anxiety. my chest fluttered.

i squirmed. i wanted to be free.

i sat in a studio

my teacher told me

breathe in. breathe out.

pay attention to your breath.

let everything go.

in the hollow of my chest

everything stopped

no flutters, no rain, no bird

trying to escape.

i dropped
my head like a bowling ball
let it dangle in space
i reached
for the ceiling with my pinkie
tip. pushed my heart
towards the wall,
lifting my head high

in the hollow of a still chest
i saw sadness.
this was no anxious woman
unable to decide or escape.
it was a sad woman

stored up in a closed

off well.

in the evening, i tried

to be present to my pain-

gazed at lilies,

leaves, sat
on grass,

saw
the
glory

of the
sun
setting

on
a
summer
day

i tried and i tried and i cried.